I remember when I painted for the fun of it. Swishing and swirling colors to reflect my inner most, sensitive feelings of love and happiness. What do you do when you lose that feeling. When all your dreams fade to grey.
I look at the canvas but I can’t invoke the desire to lift the brushes to start anything. I want to use yellow. I need to smell blue. You probably don’t believe colors have smells and feelings. In my experience it’s true. It is all apart of my emotional state of well being and I miss it. So I think paint…but I need a little more time to get it all together.
So, what am I doing now you might ask? I’m answering the call of family. I have picked up the old crochet hook and started teaching myself to crochet flowers. Flowers for a bridal bouquet in hopes I will get good results. I hadn’t crocheted in years and you would never guess how much fun I am having with learning the stitches. The colors of the yarns are vibrant enough to bring joy to my evenings as I try a new flower. It hasn’t made me want to paint yet but it did encourage me to blog about it. Another thing I haven’t done in a while. I’m feeling like I am on my way back to being alive and in living color.
When I close my eyes tonight I think I will dream colors. At least I believe the colors will come to me with memories of love and happiness. Another time and space leading me back to painting. It won’t happen overnight but I’m excited just the same.
Thank you for perusing and I pray sweet sleep tonight for you.
Today I added a background using paint and Saran Wrap. I started with the wheat field by adding the plastic strips with gesso. I then painted them. I’m going to sit on it a few days and wait and see what develops both in my mind and in the painting. Jesus is working on me while I work it out. I have no words for it yet. Just a feeling. I was told to keep painting and I want to be obedient.
Yesterday I gave you a peek at the first painting I am working on in the 3D acrylic painting class. So you know what I am trying to capture here are a few pictures of the scene. This is the Shiloh Road and this is the sun that shines down on me from this point to the children’s school. Isn’t it beautiful. It leaves me at the school
I’m trying to translate it from where it picks me up and so far this is what I got.
It came to me about 3:00 a.m. To use strips of plastic that were made ironing flat groceries bags that were used for a Earth Day project with the York County Musuem. A few friends from The Catawba River Art Guild and I ironed bags for days to assist children in making recycled artwork. Everyone had a blast! I love to recycle things. I think that is why I’m so excited about this class. I haven’t attached anything it to yet, I’m still working on the placement.
What do you think Wonderers? Any suggestions? Do you see God?
It’s Monday and you know what time it is. Today though, my madness is a little bit different.
Last Friday evening my daughter called waking me out of sleep to tell me to gas up my car because a hurricane was on its way to Texas. I got up and did just that. (Thanks baby for looking out for your mama!) Saturday morning when I awoke my mind was telling me to gas up my husband’s car also. We did not know how bad it was going to get and I might need both cars filled with gas.
I try to ride his car around once a week to keep it running in good condition until someone else takes over the car . So I take it out and ride around the subdivision. I look at the gas gauge and I can’t determine whether it needs gas or not. We’ve had this car since 2007 and today I do not understand how to read the gauge. I mean there is a white line up to the “F” but there is a red dot at the “E”. My mind is questioning is it full or is it empty. So I park the car and pull out the owner’s manual looking for clarification. That didn’t help, it only confused me more. At this point I’m thinking I had put gas in it the week prior but I can’t remember to be sure. (Senior moment.) So I just decide I’m gonna drive to the gas station anyway. Either way no harm in taking the drive. That’s when the miracle happened.
I start the car and only two bars show up at the top of the gauge at “F”. The lower bars had disappeared. As if the car was saying, “Denise the car is full dummy.” I had never seen it do this before. I was questioning whether it was a magnetic glitch in the gauge or maybe the light was blown. I just keep looking at it and thinking the two bars were glowing brighter than usual but I still felt I needed to go to the gas station. So off I went. At the pump it took $1.99 and it was full.
I got back into the car and on the way home I just started crying. I mean bawling. I had been praying for discernment and to trust my intuition. And right in front of me, here it is. Evidence that God is listening to my prayers and I was questioning it. I cried until I started laughing. All this time and through all the things he brought me through I was still questioning what was real. It gave me a total new perspective on my past, life with my family, my husband’s love and his passing and for my future. It made me realize going forward I don’t have to question God anymore. He is working for my good and he loves me. My faith has been renewed. If he can darken the control panel in a car, he can do anything!
Now you may think I’m losing it. Some may say it was just a malfunction in the panel or maybe my husband. It’s not the first time something strange happened in his car. (That’s another story for another day.) What I know is:
God has dominion over every thing and he will use whatever he needs to get our attention and if we call out to him he will answer. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus or Lord. Roman 8:39
Wonderers, have a great day. Use your magnetic personalities and draw God’s love into your lives. Thank you for perusing and remember….
Sitting here at Dunkin’ Donuts thinking about how Jesus saved my life while eating a donut and drinking coffee. I have a Doctor appointment in about an hour. It is not going to look good now. I thought it was to be earlier with fasting labs. I hadn’t eaten a thing since yesterday evening. I was ready. Turns out I was early and I am to go back later. I needed to get something to eat to cover all the insulin I injected earlier. So here I sit while sugar ooze through my veins thinking about how Jesus saved my life.
This is a testimony on how we don’t pay attention to our own sins. It just came to mind how ungrateful this act is. Intentionally, unintentionally everything we do counts. It just started out as having a donut. That simple, the adversary got me to do harm to myself. I’m not going to dwell on it. I messed up. I’m going to pray over it and move on.
Thank you for convicting me and blessing me. Please forgive me for my arrogance and ignorance. In not really thinking about it, I took a chance on possibly damaging my body causing an early ending to my life. Forgive me for not thinking of your perfect will for my life. Forgive me for not thinking of my family. Forgive me for not cooperating with the medical team you laid out for me to be healed. Forgive me for not showing courage and strength when the adversary tempted me. Lord, I love you and I will do better. The victory belongs to you Lord. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
I invited you into my day to hopefully show how easily we can be tempted. We need to be watchful at all times. How can we serve God’s will on this earth if we are not ready and able to serve. What is your weakness?
Glory be to God for giving me the courage to write this message.
I’m trying to stay focused on God but something happens to me when I hear a lie. I just go all willy-nilly on a person. From 0 to 100 and back down to 75 is how my husband used to explain it. And it hurts. Not just me but everyone who is in the room, within earshot even. I hear them questioning what or who set me off. I didn’t want to be that person, I don’t even know when she appeared or when I became the one person I swore I would never be. I pray to bind that personality and I feel the difference when I hear the lie. I try to stay centered. Sometime I perfect it with grace. Other times I catch myself in mid hype and slow down the reaction. It’s the journey I’m traveling. The road to the crown is bumpy. It is my destination so I try to rise above it.
We ride the carousel round and round afraid to get off in fear that if we do, we will miss the last turn, so we ride until it stops. Why is that?
You had an opportunity to pick the horse. Maybe you picked the stationary one because you know your limitations. Maybe you picked the one moving up and down because you crave excitement. Just going round and round wasn’t enough. Or worse yet, you settled on the only available horse betting that nothing better would come along or the one you wanted wasn’t worth the work or the wait.
Looking back, were you wrong? Was your horse worth all you sacrificed for? Was your horse worth the ride? Only you know the answer to this question and only you know when it’s time to get off the sadly-go-round.
Is it time for a revision?
Look closely at your life and sort out all that is keeping you circling outside of your destiny. All that you need to succeed is already in you. You just need to be assertive on the merry-go-round. Ride it and build up your courage and strength then get off and live the life that is created just for you. That’s what you need to remember. The choice is still yours. You don’t have to keep riding the dark horse. You don’t have to keep riding in darkness. Let him take the reigns and together ride towards the sun. Your destiny awaits Wonderers.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9