I’m trying to stay focused on God but something happens to me when I hear a lie. I just go all willy-nilly on a person. From 0 to 100 and back down to 75 is how my husband used to explain it. And it hurts. Not just me but everyone who is in the room, within earshot even. I hear them questioning what or who set me off. I didn’t want to be that person, I don’t even know when she appeared or when I became the one person I swore I would never be. I pray to bind that personality and I feel the difference when I hear the lie. I try to stay centered. Sometime I perfect it with grace. Other times I catch myself in mid hype and slow down the reaction. It’s the journey I’m traveling. The road to the crown is bumpy. It is my destination so I try to rise above it.
I had been following a word prompt lately trying desperately to have something to say. Something that wasn’t truly ridiculous and nothing that was unsympathetic to other’s tragedy that surrounds me. Believe me I am on a cakewalk compared to a lot of people. I am so grateful for my life as torn as it is, I’m not broken, I’ve only been heartbroken and some days lonely. But I read a post of Facebook the other day saying something about, “if you can lift your head off the pillow, you have all you need.” It apparently was something a dying man was saying to his wife about her life after he was gone. I get it. It is so true. I’m here still amongst the living. I have breath, a pulse and a functioning brain. Everything else after that is icing on the cake.
There is so much goodness in my life that it feels strange to display. I am so at peace with everything that at times I feel …..guilty. Society has a way of dictating how we are supposed to feel, how we are supposed to display how we feel. Why am I supposed to feel sad and downtrodden? Who says I’m supposed to wear black. I might as well hide behind a black veil if that is the case. But I won’t and here is why.
I humbly come before you to explain why you see me living, smiling and enjoying my life. PLEASE forgive me if I am repeating myself but I can not pretend anymore.
My husband loved life. He loved me and gave me a good life. He loved the Lord and obeyed him as far as loving me and for those three reasons I am overjoyed.
I miss him so I wear the colors he loved to see me in. He hated that because of my profession I wore a lot of black. When I retired I threw most of it out and started wearing colors again. Color makes me happy and wearing them made him happy. So I honor him with my bright colors. I smile because he lived to make me smile and laugh. That’s all he wanted for me and our children, for us to be happy. He worked to give us security and comfort and we are so fortunate that he took his responsibility to us seriously. He believed in God’s command of what a husband and father’s responsibilities are to his family. He gave us everything he had to give and he is still giving to us more so now than ever before. So please give us a break when you see us having fun and moving on without him. It is just how we choose to pay our respects to the life he gave us. When he looks in on us I want him to see he gave us enough love to last our life time. I want God to see he did his duty.
I did not get to hear last words from his last breath but I did get to have the last words he wrote to me for our vow renewals the previous year. He closed it with, “I give you my hand, my heart and my love from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.” All I can say is I’m still here and I will honor his commitment for as long as I live.
Thank you for perusing and until next time, walk in joy.
We lust for the good life. We chase after success, fame, wealth and love. We’re so hard on the chase we miss the little opportunities that would have made a difference in where we end up,
In the pursuit of wealth we sacrifice our family. We miss reunions, dance recitals and kindergarten graduation because we think that job can not go on without us. Your children’s accomplishments needed that same respect. This was their one time event that went on without you and no matter how many pictures and videos were taken so you could “be there” you will never be apart of it.
In the pursuit of success set a ceiling for yourself and your family so the power does not go to your head. Your job’s congratulations and promotions are not the success your seeking. Your only the hero as long as you are there. Don’t let your job tell your family, “Thank you for sacrificing him.” Be the hero of your children. They know how hard you worked for them but they know so little about you personally because you were not there to tell all your success stories.
In the pursuit of fame you will never achieve it at your job. A job is means to support yourself not to make you famous. No matter how high you climb a fall from grace will make you start over again. Your family will always hold you in high esteem. Even if you falter they will hold you up until the end of time.
In the pursuit of love stay focused on the prize. Don’t get it twisted. As much as you think you love your job, it don’t love you. It will use you until it uses you up. Love is waiting for you to come home. There is dinner ready and the children are waiting to tell you all the exciting things that happened while you were at work.
Think about it. There are only 24 hours in a day. If you work 8-12 hours and get some sleep, how much time is left for your family. Your family is willing to make adjustment to make time for you to be home more. The question is, are you?
Grandmom’s glider could surely keep the family secrets. How loyal it was to the family. It never rusted and never stopped gliding. We kids would sit out on the porch to eavesdrop on the grownup conversation. You could hear them talking over the big fan that was blowing in the window and we would sit awaiting the juicy news. Then someone would start gliding. Gliding faster and faster. You never noticed when it started to slow down. We all have a different opinion. It happened somewhere near the time when the rickety fan started its lullaby and the fragrances of honeysuckles and hydrangeas would fill the air. Somehow the gossip never filtered through. Childlike innocence was preserved for the glider never told the secrets. It kept us safe and secure from the scarring of growing up too fast. Until the grownup talks were silenced and we had the best summertime naps on grandmom’s porch.
We should have kept that glider for the new generation to keep them safe from all the stimulation and over sensory practices they are experiencing. Oh well, it would not have mattered anyway, they don’t go outside anymore.
I’m late for Mundy Madness due to traveling. I am in Philadelphia now and am ready to tell my story if you can forgive me.
The water park is one of my favorite places even when I don’t get in the water which can happen.
My oldest treated us to Six Flags for 4th of July. How exciting for me to watch them have fun and see the fireworks. As soon as we get into the park the oldest decides we must get lockers for our stuff. Wait a minute! All your life I have been guarding everyone’s assets while we were on an adventure but now that you are in charge we need lockers? Smart move! 🤔
While we were at the counter waiting to pay for the locker code (I was free) the oldest says something totally unbelievable. She tells her sister, “Go down to the lazy river and get on it and mom and I will meet you down there.”
Now for those of you who don’t know my baby girl, she has a learning disability. What that means is her thought process is different that anyone else’s normally is. Like how she sees good in everyone even when they mistreated her. A quality I wish I possessed. Everybody is her best friend.
Well the oldest, who has a degree in special education thinks she can communicate better with the youngest. I have to admit she has taught me a thing or two but this time, she made a mistake. My mind told me to call a foul but I didn’t. I pray a prayer of protection over them and let the games begin!
It is about 1:00 p.m. when we get to the lazy river. No youngest or the grand around to see. So we start walking around looking. You know what’s real? You don’t remember what your people look like or what they are wearing when your looking for them. I started remembering some of the safety tips like write your name and phone number on the skin and cover it with liquid bandage. Which of course we didn’t do. Around 3:00 p.m. the oldest is frantic. I suggested we go get something to eat. I was hot and tired. I was almost ready to quit the game. I got a pizza. Hot dog and cotton candy. Oh yeah and a Diet Coke. I love amusement parks where you can magically eat anything you want and not gain a pound because your walking around in the heat. I choose a table right across from where we last seen those two jokers. I figured one of them will think to go back to where we divided. I mean when they got tired or hungry they would think to come back. So we sit and wait and I tell the oldest why she can’t let her sister out of her site. She is no different then her except she didn’t get to experience free will and every chance she gets, she’s going to take it.
An hour later the oldest says, “Your so calm. You have really lightened up.” I tell her my strategy, why we are sitting across from customer service. She gets something to eat and tries to relax. I silently say another prayer. Suddenly the oldest remembers she took the grand baby picture on her phone. She wants to ask security to help find them. When we get to the counter I say, “You know we are going to be here until the park closes.” No sooner than I say it there is an announcement that the park is closing due to a storm warning. And behold, I turn around and there they are. The sky opens up and it pours down rain. Unbelievable right? We walked around the water park for 5 hours and did not get on one ride but we left soaked in knowledge.
There is power in the tongue. There is power in your prayers
Edited in sincerity to the Quest of the Pineapple.
We were starting on another journey you and I. The dynamic duo, we called ourselves. Preparing for another caper. We were magical together. Polar opposites. My strengths were your weaknesses. Your strength were my weaknesses. Together we were one person. No one could touch us. No one could go around us. Impenetrable!
Somewhere we made a wrong turn. A decision we would have to face dire consequences for. Somewhere in our quest for greatness we forgot how we came to be so powerful. We started with just love. Love that kept us talking all night about our dreams and aspirations. Love that made us silly and adventurous. We had found each other. Our soulmate. We thought we did it ourselves and the powers that be excused our innocence. Young love can be foolish.
He put us together against all odds. The things we had in common in the beginning against the things years later we still couldn’t understand how we ended up together. Even with our differences, he put us together for a purpose for the unbelieving spouse will sanctify the other. But somewhere we made a wrong turn and we misjudged the covenant we agreed to when we were united. We were moving in our own power, depleting our resources. All the while the superpowers kept feeding us granting permission for us to keep fighting evil. So stupid we didn’t show enough gratitude, enough love, enough praise that the evil doers came in through the weakest links of our shield. Our faith in God. We didn’t even notice when the smoke bomb was thrown in. We kept touching it not knowing what it was only knowing that we seeing thing different than before. We just kept up the superhero appearance before man. Thinking we were battered but not beaten and we began to believe we did not need all the strength of the superpower. We were doing it, the dynamic duo. We had it all in our own right.
The enemy penetrated our camp spreading their venom all around. We breathed it in and it worked against us. We were battling a different kind of crime. No longer were we fighting the enemy we were fighting against ourselves. We became so weak in the mind, body and spirit we didn’t even think to call to the higher power. We tried to save each other and exhausted what power we had left. Loves make you want to try even when you know you can not win by yourselves. Thankfully the higher powers came to our rescue although they could only save one of us. I’m not sure which one of us was saved. All I know for sure is I was left to warn the heroes that replace us.
Turn back and plan your capers together and use your powers for good. Remember even after the crowd praises your accomplishments, you are not operating as the dynamic duo. You have the God Squad, the Holy Trinity ~ The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost.
My sidekick of 30 years has hung up his cape but I have comfort that I am not alone. I’ve tightened my belt and picked up my shield. Me and The Squad are still on the quest.
Call on Jesus. He will answer. It is not too late to save each other. It is not too late to save yourself.
2 You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by GOD. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That’s right—you don’t go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set. You, GOD, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; Then I’d never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel. I thank you for speaking straight from your heart; I learn the pattern of your righteous ways. I’m going to do what you tell me to do; don’t ever walk off and leave me. (Psalm 119:2 MSG)
I hope you’ve got your coffee and are ready to hear a little of my madness. It’s been a while so please be patient with me.
This summer being the great mom that I am, I purchased season passes to Carowinds, our local amusement park. Let’s not stop there I also purchased the drink plan and meal plan. Such a good mommy! Like the mom who sprinkles flour on her face when she makes rice crispy treats. 😜 Really though I have loved saying several times a week I might add, “Let’s go the Carowinds for dinner!” Every time-they react like it’s the first time I said it this season. Mental note moms: Children are so easy.
Now let me inform you I am not the amusement park type. I am not really the wanna be outside in the heat type either. My idea of “Ruffin it” is continental breakfast at Holiday Inn Express. 😳 And I don’t do rides. I do eat all the snacks under the rides while I wait although I’m not supposed too. Heck, if the lines are long enough, the world may never know! It will be our secret.
On to why you’re here. I decided there was a ride I wanted to try. It’s a ride that goes to air traffic control height and it looks like a carousel in the sky. My mission for the summer Wonderers! I thought, I’ll have to ease my way into it. J who is 6, wants to ride the swings. She just made the height chart and is super excited. I thought this to be the first step to my victory. She carefully selected her seat and waited for the ride to begin. I just grabbed the first seat I came too. I noticed she kept looking at me and I wondered if she was scared. Maybe I should have sat next to her. At lift off I was feeling a little panicky and when it started to swing I gripped the chains and started mumbling to Jesus. I could hear J laughing. I tried to open my eyes to see if she was laughing at me but the roof of an adjacent building was coming at me so I shut my eyes again. I was whimpering like a baby. I was really feeling anxious so I started praying for the Lord to stop the ride. As the ride started to lower I gave up all claims to ride the big carousel in the sky. My dream had been dashed and to make matters worst when the ride stopped and I opened my eyes my swing ramjacked the swing in front of me. Only mines did that. Everyone else’s stopped on point. Maybe that was the insult of being on the kiddie ride. When it was time to get off J turned to me and said, “that’s why I get on the inside swing! How humiliating! She did see me shivering in the air.
At the next ride I stayed on the ground and got me a funnel cake with powder sugar, vanilla ice cream and strawberries. I deserved it! Just when I sat down to eat it, it started to rain. Okay Derrick, okay God y’all got jokes. I looked inside my healthy backpack and “ Shazam!” Pulled out a ziplock bag!
Girl Scouts prepared me well. If you can’t fly high at least be able to cover ground. Oh! I gonna have to put that on a flag or something.
Have a great Monday Wonderers and thanks for perusing.
I gave birth to a chatterbox. That little bird’s chattering kept me company for years all day, everyday. Life called to separate us and like a good mother I abided. Doesn’t every mother want to see her bird soar to new heights?
The excited little bird left the nest but parts of her were reluctant. She worried about her mother. Who would be the constant jangle of her day?
There could be no who to take her place, it had to be a what. So the little bird surprised her mother with a gift of a bracelet. The bracelet came in a set of two with two otters. One for each of them to bring security from them drifting apart that way they will always be connected.
All day, everyday I hear the jangle of the bracelets.
All day, everyday I am constantly reminded I am loved.😘😘😘