Signs and Wonders

Good evening Wonderers:

I’m working on the painting “Confirmation” today.  It has been a slow process for me to get it started.  It had been a difficult two weeks emotionally and thank God the idea was here for me to complete.

I was on a high note the week before the Eagles’ game.  It started with me ending up unexpectedly at a birthday party that my granddaughter was invited two days prior. I was not even going to go I was just going to drop them off and circle around a few hours later.  But something told me to go in.  The homeowners were from Philadelphia.  They lived just a block from where I grew up.  One guest owned some Florsheim Shoe Stores which was where my husband worked when we first me.  And everyone was an Eagles fan.  This was Saturday, a week before the game.  I took it as a sign from the Father.

A couple days later I get an email from my friend that there is a quilting guild in my area and they have a impromptu meeting the first Friday of every month.  And since you know I’m working on this quilt I decide to attend.   I end up sitting next to a woman that worked with my husband reminding me how much he was loved by his peers and community.  How awesome is God! Not only was my heart filled with compassion, I met several women who could help me with my quilt.

By Sunday I was ready for the game emotionally.  My son and I watched it together.  The other children went across the street to a Super Bowl party but I could not.  We stayed to watch it in the comfort  of my home and the Eagles won.  I was happy for them.  I was happy for everyone who was rooting for Derrick’s favorite team.  I felt God gave us a victory.  And since Derrick passed right after the game last year, God gave us a better Super Bowl memory.  I went to bed that night feeling God’s unmistakable love.

Something changed.  I noticed I did not want to answer texts and phone calls.  I knew people were concerned but I just did not want to share another moment of missing him with everyone else like I’ve had to do.  I would take this final grief by myself.  

On the 9th I had a doctor come to my home for a visit.  This woman who I had only known for 5 minutes asked how I was feeling this time last year.  Well let me see, this time last year I was standing in front of a group of people offering them comfort at his memorial service when I broke down and whimpered.  She said I was extremely depressed and it angered me.  Not angered as in hate but as in what more could you want from me.  I’ve gotten through getting the children off to school everyday and made sure there was food in the house to eat.  I’ve paid the bills and handled any situations with grace.  What more can be expected from me?

And that brings me back to this painting.  Maybe in theory she is right.  Although I could not see it was missing, where was my joy? Why am I not doing the things I love.  Cooking, singing, taking good care of my family and praising God in spite of it all.  I have my moments but where is the continuous joy.  I had to rebuke this feeling for I know who I am.  I am a child of God.  I am a child of light and, “we know all things work together for the good of them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

I thank Jesus for not leaving me there.  Her words were a reminder that God called me to a purpose and I was being distracted by the enemy.  It was okay for me to miss Derrick and weeping may endure for a night but joy Still comes in the morning.  So today I start to paint and I read about the president wanting to cut funding to The Endowment of the Arts among other programs that are here to support the people.  Where would I be without art?  What would our world be without art?  The history of the world as we know it is captured in the arts.  Past, present and future.  How sad our world would be without it.

So for today Wonderers I can only tell you this.  I serve and praise the God that told me to paint.  I trust in him and I await for my Lord and Savior.  When my doctor got the report from the home visit he gave me a referral to talk with someone.  I’m waiting on Jesus and in the meantime I will talk to the many people he has placed on my path with signs and wonders that He has heard my cries and I am not alone.  I will complete “Confirmation” and I humbly hope that it will give comfort to someone else who is also waiting on Jesus.  In Christ we are more than conquerors.

I am winding down to February 15, the day I laid his body to rest for the final time and I am good. I am not alone and I am not depressed. I have all of you and I hope you know you have a friend in Jesus. Tomorrow I have art guild meeting and will get some pointers on my painting and fellowship with other artists and Christians that love the Lord.  I will keep you updated on my progress but here is the First layer.

Thanks for perusing and may God continue to bless you and keep you.

Fasting

Sitting here at Dunkin’ Donuts thinking about how Jesus saved my life while eating a donut and drinking coffee. I have a Doctor appointment in about an hour. It is not going to look good now. I thought it was to be earlier with fasting labs. I hadn’t eaten a thing since yesterday evening. I was ready. Turns out I was early and I am to go back later. I needed to get something to eat to cover all the insulin I injected earlier. So here I sit while sugar ooze through my veins thinking about how Jesus saved my life.

This is a testimony on how we don’t pay attention to our own sins. It just came to mind how ungrateful this act is. Intentionally, unintentionally everything we do counts. It just started out as having a donut. That simple, the adversary got me to do harm to myself. I’m not going to dwell on it. I messed up. I’m going to pray over it and move on.

Father,

Thank you for convicting me and blessing me. Please forgive me for my arrogance and ignorance. In not really thinking about it, I took a chance on possibly damaging my body causing an early ending to my life. Forgive me for not thinking of your perfect will for my life. Forgive me for not thinking of my family. Forgive me for not cooperating with the medical team you laid out for me to be healed. Forgive me for not showing courage and strength when the adversary tempted me. Lord, I love you and I will do better. The victory belongs to you Lord. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

I invited you into my day to hopefully show how easily we can be tempted. We need to be watchful at all times. How can we serve God’s will on this earth if we are not ready and able to serve. What is your weakness?

Glory be to God for giving me the courage to write this message.

Denise

All That I Can Say

Good morning Wonderers;

I had been following a word prompt lately trying desperately to have something to say.  Something that wasn’t truly ridiculous and nothing that was unsympathetic to other’s tragedy that surrounds me.  Believe me I am on a cakewalk compared to a lot of people. I am so grateful for my life as torn as it is, I’m not broken, I’ve only been heartbroken and some days lonely.   But I read a post of Facebook the other day saying something about, “if you can lift your head off the pillow, you have all you need.”  It apparently was something a dying man was saying to his wife about  her life after he was gone.  I get it.  It is so true.  I’m here still amongst the living.  I have breath, a pulse and a functioning brain.  Everything else after that is icing on the cake.

There is so much goodness in my life that it feels strange to display.  I am so at peace with everything that at times I feel …..guilty.  Society has a way of dictating how we are supposed to feel, how we are supposed to display how we feel.  Why am I supposed to feel sad and downtrodden?  Who says I’m supposed to wear black.  I might as well hide behind a black veil if that is the case.  But I won’t and here is why.

I humbly come before you to explain why you see me living, smiling and enjoying my life.  PLEASE forgive me if I am repeating myself but I can not pretend anymore.

My husband loved life.  He loved me and gave me a good life.  He loved the Lord and obeyed him as far as loving me and for those three reasons I am overjoyed.

I miss him so I wear the colors he loved to see me in.  He hated that because of my profession I wore a lot of black.  When I retired I threw most of it out and started wearing colors again.  Color makes me happy and wearing them made him happy.  So I honor him with my bright colors.  I smile because he lived to make me smile and laugh.  That’s all he wanted for me and our children, for us to be happy.  He worked to give us security and comfort and we are so fortunate that he took his responsibility to us seriously.   He believed in God’s command of what a husband and father’s responsibilities are to his family.  He gave us everything he had to give and he is still giving to us more so now than ever before.  So please give us a break when you see us having fun and moving on without him.  It is just how we choose to pay our respects to the life he gave us.  When he looks in on us I want him to see he gave us enough love to last our life time.  I want God to see he did his duty.

I did not get to hear last words from his last breath but I did get to have the last words he wrote to me for our vow renewals the previous year.  He closed it with, “I give you my hand, my heart and my love from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.”  All I can say is I’m still here and I will honor his commitment for as long as I live.

Thank you for perusing and until next time, walk in joy.

Denise

Partner

Good evening Wonderers:

I had an eye appointment and even though my pupils had been dilated I decided I would go on a guilty pleasure trip to Ollie’s – Good Stuff Cheap!  I just like saying that.  I walked around the store not looking for anything in particular and almost made it to the cash register with just a pair of earbuds when I saw a Honeywell Deluxe Steel Security Box.  An impulse purchase.  It caught my eye so I purchased it and took it home with me.  I placed it on the desk and went upstairs to lay down.

This morning with my eyes completely opened I saw the box on the table.  I can not for the life of me even begin to understand why I thought I needed it.  Everything I had personally worth protecting is lost, was lost, is gone.  My partner, my husband, my marriage, the life we were building, my future.  My everything.  It relates to one of my daddy’s sayings, not his originally, and definitely one of Derrick’s favorites, “Don’t lock the barn after the horses got out!”

I really don’t need the box.  Anything I have worth keeping is free.  My life.  My salvation. God’s grace.  Jesus’s love and the blessings bestowed on me are many according to his word and his love for me.  I am just fine.  I am at peace at the life I have now and I pray that you will come to know that God loves you too and if you believe that Jesus Christ came to earth and died for our sins and rose again the riches of his glorious inheritance is yours also.

I’m going to take the security box back tomorrow. I have all the security I need and victory is already mines.

Thanks for perusing.  Until next time;

Walk in JOY!

Wanderlust

Wonderers;

I’m packing my toothbrush once again and Alex and I are heading to Tulsa, Oklahoma.   Six months ago I would have never thought I would see this city,  it wasn’t even on my bucket list.  But God had another plan for me.  I wanted to travel.  I thought about being an airline stewardess when I graduated from high school but fear of being inadequate stopped me dead in my tracks.  I wasn’t pretty enough.  Everyone always said I was cute but stewardesses back then were gorgeous.  I was too skinny and any other negative thing I thought of that held me back.  I see they have relaxed the standard.😋  Good for them.  I have met some wonderful everyday kind of people.  The elite have no power now.  Just genuinely nice people.

God is giving me the opportunity to live out the life I wanted for myself and my children.  He took me back to the age of 17 just before I married and had children to remove the spirit of inadequacy.  I’m not going to waste it.  I bought 6 toothbrushes to start,  I never bring back the one I used in another environment (my dad’s rule😋) and I plan on leaving alot more behind before I’m done.  Lord willing.

I’ll be singing like Shirley Jones this weekend.  Ohhhhla homa!!!!!  I can’t hardly wait.

Venture out with me Wonderers.  I promise I’ll take plenty of pictures.

God is knocking.  Are you listening?

Have a joyous day.  I’m praying for you all.

Walk in Joy!

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/toothbrush/”>Toothbrush</a&gt;image

Grandma Glider


Grandmom’s glider could surely keep the family secrets.  How loyal it was to the family.  It never rusted and never stopped gliding.  We kids would sit out on the porch to eavesdrop on the grownup conversation.  You could hear them talking over the big fan that was blowing in the window and we would sit awaiting the juicy news.  Then someone would start gliding.  Gliding faster and faster.  You never noticed when it started to slow down.  We all have a different opinion.  It happened somewhere near the time when the rickety fan started its lullaby and the fragrances of honeysuckles and hydrangeas would fill the air.  Somehow the gossip never filtered through.  Childlike innocence was preserved for the glider never told the secrets.  It kept us safe and secure from the scarring of growing up too fast.  Until the grownup talks were silenced and we had the best summertime naps on grandmom’s porch.

We should have kept that glider for the new generation to keep them safe from all the stimulation and over sensory practices they are experiencing.  Oh well, it would not have mattered anyway, they don’t go outside anymore.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/fragrance/”>Fragrance</a&gt;

God’s Love

Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.  I was told to paint.  If you remember I had a canvas out waiting to start.  I found this picture that I blogged in this post.  So I’m updating the post to include my painting.  I hope you enjoy it.

During the road trip To Philadelphia I came down for breakfast when I met Patricia.  She said people call her Pat, some Tricia but family call her Patricia.  She was older than me which made me feel comfortable.  I always got along with older women.

After a few casual exchanges I asked if I could sit with her. We had a very long talk.  She knew who I was because God sent her to give me a message.  She started talking about her past which mirrored mines in so many ways.  She gave confirmation to my thoughts.  She had me down to the point of my existence.  My attempt at existing.

We spoke of issues of abandonment, child molestation, physical abuse, verbal abuse, introverted shyness, being mean spirited, being angry with a hateful tongue, adultery, and all the other adversaries we encountered.  Personalities that hid behind my confident smile.

And he still loves me.  He chose me.  He saved the spirit inside of me for a higher purpose.  Elevated me from the mired in which I existed. Everything worked for good in the end.  Even down to the reason why we were having breakfast.  She was visiting with her daughters for a girl weekend just like me and my girls. 

I was feeling hopeful so I showed her the pictures I took earlier that morning.  I was so proud of the picture.  She explained that I was the tall flower shinning in the light.  The smaller flowers were babies in Christ.  The flowers with lost peddles were older spirits and the dead flowers were all who had died and were waiting for Christ.  The flower standing tall in the sun had come to it’s full potentials and was going to be plucked ….so I’ll tell you what I’ve learned.

  • Tomorrow is not promised.  Live for God today.  If you believe that Christ died for the sins of the world and rose again you will have salvation.  There is nothing, nothing that can separate God’s love for you.  There is nothing you could have done or had done to you that he will forsake you. Ask him for forgiveness with a grateful heart and he will save you.  God is a God of love.
  • Love one another and love yourself.
  • Forgive yourself and forgive others.
  • Find joy in everything you do.
  • Live with appreciation and gratitude.
  • Pray about everything.  Worry about nothing.
  • Meditation improves your relationship with God.


You don’t have to search for happiness.  All God’s love is waiting for you!

My painting.

bury

IMG_4732Wonderers:

Bury all the words that may tempt you to a lower vibration.  For every word that also has a negative side to that exact word put in a box and have a funeral.

No longer will life be defined as being happy because it could lead to unhappy.  Instead replace it with Joy.

Walk into the sunlight singing “I got the joy, Joy, JOy, JOY down in my heart.  Join in!

Have a great day.