Fasting

Sitting here at Dunkin’ Donuts thinking about how Jesus saved my life while eating a donut and drinking coffee. I have a Doctor appointment in about an hour. It is not going to look good now. I thought it was to be earlier with fasting labs. I hadn’t eaten a thing since yesterday evening. I was ready. Turns out I was early and I am to go back later. I needed to get something to eat to cover all the insulin I injected earlier. So here I sit while sugar ooze through my veins thinking about how Jesus saved my life.

This is a testimony on how we don’t pay attention to our own sins. It just came to mind how ungrateful this act is. Intentionally, unintentionally everything we do counts. It just started out as having a donut. That simple, the adversary got me to do harm to myself. I’m not going to dwell on it. I messed up. I’m going to pray over it and move on.

Father,

Thank you for convicting me and blessing me. Please forgive me for my arrogance and ignorance. In not really thinking about it, I took a chance on possibly damaging my body causing an early ending to my life. Forgive me for not thinking of your perfect will for my life. Forgive me for not thinking of my family. Forgive me for not cooperating with the medical team you laid out for me to be healed. Forgive me for not showing courage and strength when the adversary tempted me. Lord, I love you and I will do better. The victory belongs to you Lord. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

I invited you into my day to hopefully show how easily we can be tempted. We need to be watchful at all times. How can we serve God’s will on this earth if we are not ready and able to serve. What is your weakness?

Glory be to God for giving me the courage to write this message.

Denise

God’s Love

Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.  I was told to paint.  If you remember I had a canvas out waiting to start.  I found this picture that I blogged in this post.  So I’m updating the post to include my painting.  I hope you enjoy it.

During the road trip To Philadelphia I came down for breakfast when I met Patricia.  She said people call her Pat, some Tricia but family call her Patricia.  She was older than me which made me feel comfortable.  I always got along with older women.

After a few casual exchanges I asked if I could sit with her. We had a very long talk.  She knew who I was because God sent her to give me a message.  She started talking about her past which mirrored mines in so many ways.  She gave confirmation to my thoughts.  She had me down to the point of my existence.  My attempt at existing.

We spoke of issues of abandonment, child molestation, physical abuse, verbal abuse, introverted shyness, being mean spirited, being angry with a hateful tongue, adultery, and all the other adversaries we encountered.  Personalities that hid behind my confident smile.

And he still loves me.  He chose me.  He saved the spirit inside of me for a higher purpose.  Elevated me from the mired in which I existed. Everything worked for good in the end.  Even down to the reason why we were having breakfast.  She was visiting with her daughters for a girl weekend just like me and my girls. 

I was feeling hopeful so I showed her the pictures I took earlier that morning.  I was so proud of the picture.  She explained that I was the tall flower shinning in the light.  The smaller flowers were babies in Christ.  The flowers with lost peddles were older spirits and the dead flowers were all who had died and were waiting for Christ.  The flower standing tall in the sun had come to it’s full potentials and was going to be plucked ….so I’ll tell you what I’ve learned.

  • Tomorrow is not promised.  Live for God today.  If you believe that Christ died for the sins of the world and rose again you will have salvation.  There is nothing, nothing that can separate God’s love for you.  There is nothing you could have done or had done to you that he will forsake you. Ask him for forgiveness with a grateful heart and he will save you.  God is a God of love.
  • Love one another and love yourself.
  • Forgive yourself and forgive others.
  • Find joy in everything you do.
  • Live with appreciation and gratitude.
  • Pray about everything.  Worry about nothing.
  • Meditation improves your relationship with God.


You don’t have to search for happiness.  All God’s love is waiting for you!

My painting.

His Girls

He asked, “What are my girls gonna do when I’m gone?”

        Well:

The girl woke up and changed her mind about what’s important in life.

One girl quit her job and followed her dream.

Another one took a class so maybe she can get an office job.

The littlest of them all started reading and writing her own notes saying they came from you telling them all:  “You are loved bekus you love from the heart.  

Today without you the girls drove from South Carolina to Philadelphia.

Without you the girls leaned into Jesus Christ who strengthens them and gives them perfect love.

The girls got moxie.


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/moxie/”>Moxie</a&gt;

Riddle Me This?

Wonderers:

What is your super power? If you could pick out your cape what would you choose.

I want my superpower to be joy. I want to fly around the world spreading joy to everyone I meet.  ZAP -Touch a heart here.  POW -fill a void there.  BOOM -always with the power of God’s love.

Wonderers I challenge you to pick out the superpower you would use to serve God by serving humanity.  If you have no idea what it would be I leave these words with you to get you started. 

Philippians 4:8-9 

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” 

Thank you for perusing and I would love to hear about your choice. 

Until we meet again!

Parable of a Wild Flower

Hello Wonderers:

Following my meditation on Galatians Chapter 5. I want to tell you my story.

Have you ever wondered if you were a flower, what type of flower would you be? Personally I never thought about it but apparently I do carry the characteristic of a flower. I am Mirabilis Jalapa. To you and me just the old fashioned Four O’clocks.

Like the flower I was easy to raise. I remember how I came to this flower. My coworker gave me some seeds and told me, “Just scratch up the ground and throw them down but make sure they are where you want them.” I did just that and they grew into the most ample set of leaves with little flowers are over it. Like it was shy of showing its full potential but everyone could see it had a real possibility to be a showstopper. When I was born into the world, my mother rejected me because she wanted all boys. She was so adamant about it the nurses would not give me to her for fear that she would harm me. That was fear on her part. I don’t think she didn’t love me. I think she was afraid of raising a daughter. Maybe she knew there was a pattern of hurt that I was going to endure because she too endured it. Maybe it was anxiety that she could not do it justice because she was so damaged herself and from the beginning she just wanted to avoid it. Either way, my grandmother saw the value in me at birth and swooped me into her arms closing the bond that should have been between my mother and me. Being the middle child she didn’t really have time for me. Her oldest and youngest children had more urgent medical issues to deal with. I remember asking her about it and she said, “I didn’t need her, they did!” What she could not see was the fear and anxiety she transferred to me. Two negative traits I fought to suppress all my life. Winning mostly but losing just the same.

Four o’clocks can tolerate a wide range of conditions. They are easy to care for because they don’t need much attention. I was an anxious kid having to get my knuckles whacked every day in kindergarten because I would knock over my milk. In my elementary years I used to come home from school and sit in the corner and read books. I remember being home alone. I would just sit and wait until my grandmother would swing by and pick me up if my mother was going to be late. I did not know I could read until fourth grade. Being a shy kid I would not have ever read in class. After I discovered I could read, I became a bookworm. I never wanted to play outside. I was content just reading my books. Books had the ability to take you anywhere you wanted to go. Away from isolation, unhealthy relationships, even boredom and despair. The love of reading kept me out of other people’s way and gave me a purpose until I found love. Love brought to my life a garden. A family.

In the garden the four o’clock is a show stopper. It controls any location and thrives against all odds. It is controlling and will tower over any nearby plants. Sometimes it will cause such a shadow that the underlying plants can not get enough sun and nutrients. I can see now how I had control over my family. I took responsibility of everything and everybody. I gave all of myself so much so I had nothing left from my heart to give and I would become angry. Not at any one person but at the whole situation. At times I would be outside of myself and when difficulties occurred, I could lash out and cause discord. In Galatians 5:23 it says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. All of which are in us to freely give but when you live in fear you forget who you are. You are a child of God and if you become hateful and selfish God does not like it and you know it so you rest until a new day begins and you wait until four o’clock again.

This time in the garden, it is about remaining quiet and composed until the appointed hour to come alive and vibrant again bringing all the love and beauty to the gardener. I think back to how I would patiently wait all day for 4:00 p.m. for my day to begin. I would lay low, keeping the house quiet so my husband could sleep. I would go about my day taking care of errands but staying close to home giving little time to myself or others trying desperately to be available if he needed me. I kept my house immaculate and my children orderly and active outside of the house. Inside they also had to be reserved. My husband never demanded any of it. It was just easier to be complacent. So at the appointed hour I was ready to give all of myself to him for the little time we would get to spend together. I would praise him and give him all the credit for the things he was doing for our family. All in his own strength not God’s. He was the gardener in our garden. Galatians 5:19 speaks of idolatry. We are not to put anything or anyone before God. It was okay for me to be submissive to my husband but coupled with fear and a obsessive desire to constantly please made me a servant to him. I thought Serving him was my way of showing God’s love but when fear, anxiety and anger came into play it became burdensome and none of my actions were voluntarily given. The Spirit was in bondage.

I feel I am to tell my story. I hope you will read Galatians Chapter 5 for yourself and see how it relates to your life.

The garden of four o’clocks has been turned under and the gardener has hung up his hoe. God is now maintaining the garden and there is new freedom in Christ. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and so not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1. This is the message I received. I will never again go back to living in fear. I will live by the Spirit. If I am going to be a flower I will be a pineapple. I will hold my head up high, wear a crown and be full of sweetness.

God wants us all to be filled with joy Wonderers.

Until next time, Thank you for perusing and have a good night rest. God Bless You!

Denise Mundy

On the Ledge (so to speak)

 

Some days ago I woke up feeling like my normal self.  It was short lived but nice just the same.  I have been missing in action for quite some time.  Invisible to the world.  Being a caregiver took up so much of my time (no complaints) and the felt the care of I giving became insufficient for my husband went on to glory days.  Just like a plant I was continually watering and accidently drowned.  It felt as if my good intentions went to waste.

Shortly after I awoke I realized it was my husband’s birthday tomorrow and I needed to get flowers to put on his gravesite.  Plastic flowers because people will not let the real one stay in place.  Who robs a departed soul? People who have no soul I assume.  Then I began to cry, sob uncontrollably because he should not be there.  Not in the ground and definitely not in that location.  He should still be here with me and our family.  I made the wrong decision.  A decision I can not change.  A decision that was only mines to make.  A decision I did not have time to fully consider.  Ultimately a decision I had no control over.  God had all the control over the ultimate situation.  But I still felt that in some way I was to blame.

So today here I sit, on the ledge, writing about how I feel.  It is not my first letter.  I’ve written plenty to God, my husband and to myself  looking for both questions and answers.  I get answers but still I move in and out of acceptance like I change underwear.  Everyday is a new reality.  So how do I keep getting back to the first day over and over again?

Plain and simple.  Doubt.

It does not matter whether it is weakness, fear, feelings of defeat, loneliness, etc… The enemy will use your despair to defeat you where he can.

This is when I started to cry and moan and I prayed to the Holy Spirit to help me and comfort me.  Romans 8:26-27 says “the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words we can not express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.

I know it is true because I quickly and quietly get back to the place of acceptance.  Over the last few months I have asked the Spirit to quiet my thoughts, help me find peace, and whatever else I consciously and unconsciously asked for and it was given to me.  God’s love and concern for me never wavers.  He is restoring me back to the path he placed me on some time ago.  He tells me I am redeemed.  I do not need to be on this ledge for he has a purpose for me.  A purpose far beyond my reach.  A plan that I have been seeking validating for.

Well Wonderers I am here to tell you God has already validated you.  His grace is more than sufficient.  Have faith in his promises.  Love life, love yourself and be grateful for your family and friends.  Speak with kind words and with positivity.  What you put out in the universe manifests itself.  God only wants what is best for you.

Until we meet again keeping looking for the wonders of life and thanks for perusing.