Signs and Wonders

Good evening Wonderers:

I’m working on the painting “Confirmation” today.  It has been a slow process for me to get it started.  It had been a difficult two weeks emotionally and thank God the idea was here for me to complete.

I was on a high note the week before the Eagles’ game.  It started with me ending up unexpectedly at a birthday party that my granddaughter was invited two days prior. I was not even going to go I was just going to drop them off and circle around a few hours later.  But something told me to go in.  The homeowners were from Philadelphia.  They lived just a block from where I grew up.  One guest owned some Florsheim Shoe Stores which was where my husband worked when we first me.  And everyone was an Eagles fan.  This was Saturday, a week before the game.  I took it as a sign from the Father.

A couple days later I get an email from my friend that there is a quilting guild in my area and they have a impromptu meeting the first Friday of every month.  And since you know I’m working on this quilt I decide to attend.   I end up sitting next to a woman that worked with my husband reminding me how much he was loved by his peers and community.  How awesome is God! Not only was my heart filled with compassion, I met several women who could help me with my quilt.

By Sunday I was ready for the game emotionally.  My son and I watched it together.  The other children went across the street to a Super Bowl party but I could not.  We stayed to watch it in the comfort  of my home and the Eagles won.  I was happy for them.  I was happy for everyone who was rooting for Derrick’s favorite team.  I felt God gave us a victory.  And since Derrick passed right after the game last year, God gave us a better Super Bowl memory.  I went to bed that night feeling God’s unmistakable love.

Something changed.  I noticed I did not want to answer texts and phone calls.  I knew people were concerned but I just did not want to share another moment of missing him with everyone else like I’ve had to do.  I would take this final grief by myself.  

On the 9th I had a doctor come to my home for a visit.  This woman who I had only known for 5 minutes asked how I was feeling this time last year.  Well let me see, this time last year I was standing in front of a group of people offering them comfort at his memorial service when I broke down and whimpered.  She said I was extremely depressed and it angered me.  Not angered as in hate but as in what more could you want from me.  I’ve gotten through getting the children off to school everyday and made sure there was food in the house to eat.  I’ve paid the bills and handled any situations with grace.  What more can be expected from me?

And that brings me back to this painting.  Maybe in theory she is right.  Although I could not see it was missing, where was my joy? Why am I not doing the things I love.  Cooking, singing, taking good care of my family and praising God in spite of it all.  I have my moments but where is the continuous joy.  I had to rebuke this feeling for I know who I am.  I am a child of God.  I am a child of light and, “we know all things work together for the good of them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

I thank Jesus for not leaving me there.  Her words were a reminder that God called me to a purpose and I was being distracted by the enemy.  It was okay for me to miss Derrick and weeping may endure for a night but joy Still comes in the morning.  So today I start to paint and I read about the president wanting to cut funding to The Endowment of the Arts among other programs that are here to support the people.  Where would I be without art?  What would our world be without art?  The history of the world as we know it is captured in the arts.  Past, present and future.  How sad our world would be without it.

So for today Wonderers I can only tell you this.  I serve and praise the God that told me to paint.  I trust in him and I await for my Lord and Savior.  When my doctor got the report from the home visit he gave me a referral to talk with someone.  I’m waiting on Jesus and in the meantime I will talk to the many people he has placed on my path with signs and wonders that He has heard my cries and I am not alone.  I will complete “Confirmation” and I humbly hope that it will give comfort to someone else who is also waiting on Jesus.  In Christ we are more than conquerors.

I am winding down to February 15, the day I laid his body to rest for the final time and I am good. I am not alone and I am not depressed. I have all of you and I hope you know you have a friend in Jesus. Tomorrow I have art guild meeting and will get some pointers on my painting and fellowship with other artists and Christians that love the Lord.  I will keep you updated on my progress but here is the First layer.

Thanks for perusing and may God continue to bless you and keep you.

Fasting

Sitting here at Dunkin’ Donuts thinking about how Jesus saved my life while eating a donut and drinking coffee. I have a Doctor appointment in about an hour. It is not going to look good now. I thought it was to be earlier with fasting labs. I hadn’t eaten a thing since yesterday evening. I was ready. Turns out I was early and I am to go back later. I needed to get something to eat to cover all the insulin I injected earlier. So here I sit while sugar ooze through my veins thinking about how Jesus saved my life.

This is a testimony on how we don’t pay attention to our own sins. It just came to mind how ungrateful this act is. Intentionally, unintentionally everything we do counts. It just started out as having a donut. That simple, the adversary got me to do harm to myself. I’m not going to dwell on it. I messed up. I’m going to pray over it and move on.

Father,

Thank you for convicting me and blessing me. Please forgive me for my arrogance and ignorance. In not really thinking about it, I took a chance on possibly damaging my body causing an early ending to my life. Forgive me for not thinking of your perfect will for my life. Forgive me for not thinking of my family. Forgive me for not cooperating with the medical team you laid out for me to be healed. Forgive me for not showing courage and strength when the adversary tempted me. Lord, I love you and I will do better. The victory belongs to you Lord. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

I invited you into my day to hopefully show how easily we can be tempted. We need to be watchful at all times. How can we serve God’s will on this earth if we are not ready and able to serve. What is your weakness?

Glory be to God for giving me the courage to write this message.

Denise

Back Scratcher

Good Morning Wonders!

It’s Monday and I actually had some madness over the weekend that I need to share.

I have a back scratcher “The Bearclaw!” but I didn’t know it’s full potential. I bought it at Walgreens 2 years ago just because I liked the way it looked. Having capsulitis I can’t always lift my shoulders and definitely can’t rotate them at will, so this little tool was needed.

Well Saturday while the carpet was being vacuumed I noticed it wasn’t picking up anything. Why would it? Kids don’t pick up anything on the floor they just think the vacuum destroys things like the garage disposal does with limitations. Anyway as I was clearing out the sock,, Legos and dog hairs, the more you pull out the deeper you must go. I used a Pencil, toothbrush, comb end, hanger ( tried it but the bent end deterred my efforts.). I looked around and finally I saw something that I thought would reach, The Back Scratcher!

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I was digging and digging and when I went to pull it out, well, it got stuck. I gave it another pull and what? The arm extended. What? I didn’t know that. All this time I’ve been using it to just get to my bra strap and I could have scratched my whole back. I could have gone over my shoulder and scratched my butt if I wanted too. I’m such a dork! Have could I’ve not known. Now the super back scratcher, my new favorite tool is so becoming and has multiple uses.

I’ve used it to reach in and get clothes out of the dryer. Sssh, don’t tell the hubby I still need the pedestal for my washer and dryer. It hurts to extend my shoulder and reach into the back of the dryer. I’m convinced if it was on a pedestal I would be waist level to the opening and then could reach my whole torso into the dryer. That would be better until my back goes out. But I’ve been saved at least for now by my handy back scratcher.

I also used to to change the time on my wall clock.

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Now it doesn’t have to be right 50% of the time.

Wonderers I’ll get back to you on all the other things my back scratcher can do. Alex thinks I’m Inspector Gadget. I’ll have to watch the reruns, I’m not sure if that a compliment or not.

Well I’m off to art camp. 🙂
Until next time, thanks for perusing and keep wondering.

Mundy Madness – I’m Recovering Fine

Good morning wonders:

This morning I was watching a yoga program when the instructor questioned mental adversity – was I using it as a stepping shield or a stepping stone? Noticed I said “watching” but I’ll say stone and I’m going to attempt to use my humor to throw a few this morning. For those who don’t know me humor is my defense mechanism. And if I can find the humor, All is well!

I have been in the bed for a week now with five more weeks to go and I have already discovered I need to build another house. This is my senior survivor moment.

To get around on my own my house will need a mini kitchen upstairs. A Bowl of oatmeal would be a survival food but no one knows how to make it. I said to my husband “I’ve been making oatmeal for these kids all of their lives how come they don’t know how to make oatmeal?” He just shook his head saying, “You answered your own question!” What ?

I also would have never suspected my children do not have a standard eating pattern. Well I’ve been feeding them for over 30 years breakfast, midmorning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner and dessert without having to be provoked. They are willing to do it, some of them came home to do it, I just have to ask! People lunch is around noon. Hint, hint.

My new home has to have eye level cabinets along with an eye level stove. I would have never known how much bending and squatting I did in the course of a day. But reaching back into the depth of a floor cabinet is senseless. And it is amazing how everything ends up on the floor. If it wasn’t for J I would be depressed living in the mess I made. She keeps picking up my things for me singing, “Clean up, clean up, everybody clean up!” But the everybody sounds different than the rest of the song.

I need a dumbwaiter! Everybody brings things up, nobody takes things down. If I had a kitchen upstairs I could wash dishes. Sike!!!! No housework for me!

Oh wait, I have been brainstorming. I repurposed a Christmas gift temporarily.

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Desktop easel transformed into a bedside tv stand. My greatest creation this year!
Okay morning pain is calling me. Time to wake someone up so I can get something to eat so I can take a pill. I’m thinking instead of building a new house, I should send one of the kiddies to butler school. It might be a wiser investment.

Until next time, I’m recovering fine, but keep wondering.

Mundy Madness – 90%

Good Morning Wonders

Of course it’s Monday and before I go to physical therapy today and can’t lift my arm, I’m going to tell my story about Physical Therapy, of course.

Well you guys know I had surgery on my knee November 1st and this time the surgeon ordered physical therapy because my leg didn’t heal correctly from the last surgery and I kept telling my doctor he didn’t put my leg back on straight so he wasn’t taking any chances on letting me rehab myself this time. There is one thing you need to know about physical therapy. How to articulate your pain level.

My therapist is great. Her name is Janie and she puts me through it. I feel like I’m training for the Olympics. I started out going to training for my knee but now I also go for my shoulder. Turns out I have a frozen shoulder. When she asked me how long I hadn’t been able to lift my arm and I said, *April* , she laughed at me. Apparently I injured it on vacation (go figure) but I thought it was strained and would work itself out. The doctor said it would in about 1-2 years with no help and he offered a steroid shot or physical therapy. I opted for the therapy. Oh well, Another thing I can chalk up to being 50. I use to strain things, let it rest and be good as new in a couple weeks. Now 6 months later I’m just beginning to thaw.

Anyway, when addressing my pain level I said, ” 7 but it’s okay.”
Janie said, “Seven is okay, Denise?” She said it like getting punched in the face didn’t hurt. Like it did not make sense to her. I meant it like it hurts but I can tolerate it because I take Alleve morning and night. Enough to relieve the pain that I can get through the day but not enough that I go out and do something stupid like go roller skating on a torn meniscus. Yeah I’m guilty of that! That why I try to stay off the prescribed stuff. It either makes me sleepy or stupid. I don’t have a high threshold for pain so I have to maintain a level of integrity.

So on the right side of my body I’m having therapy on my shoulder and knee. The knee is doing great, the shoulder not so great. Janie wants to send me back to the doctor to have my shoulder manipulated. I questioned if that was when they gave you a steroid shot? She said, “No, that’s when they put you to sleep, open your arm up and break up all the scar tissue. It’s very painful!” My answer to that, ” What else you got!”

I’ve done a lot of reading on adhesive capsulitis and I think 90% range of motion will have to do for now. After all I have to preserve my painting arm. I’m just getting started.