Yesterday I landed myself into the hospital. Why? What happened you might ask? Fear. The same fear I said I was not feeling!
Well I thought I was not operating in fear. So let’s break it down.
Fear is defined in Dictionary.com as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
For the past few days my oldest daughter had observed that my face was swollen on one side. I saw it but I was not overly concerned about it. Yesterday she asked why was I speaking out of one side of my mouth. Okay! I’m a little concerned now but I move on with my day. “Promise me you’ll call your doctor Mom.” The last words she said to me.
I went on to get some chores completed and true I wasn’t feeling good but nothing really not out of the normal for me except now, I’m feeling impending doom. (Really it could have just been the feeling of impending housework. I like a clean house but I don’t care to do the cleaning). Anyway, the feeling is overwhelming and I start to cry. I pray about it and I then decide to go to urgent care just to get checked out and keep my promise. One ambulance ride and several test later, I get invited to a sleepover at the local hospital.
This morning the mediation is about casting your cares on Jesus. Yesterday I missed the mediation and it was on the topic of fear. This situation comes to mind as being a test. Not that God is testing me but he is convicting me. He did bring it to my attention that regardless of the pending test results he is paying close attention and I have nothing to be afraid of. He is the author of my life and Yesterday I was operating in fear. Fear for my children not for myself. Did I take care of everything. Will they be okay? I even mentioned it in my prayer. I was prepared for his will but what about my children. It was one of them that set this fear in my mind. Maybe the past experience of losing a parent who did not seek medical help influenced her. I had to ask myself am I afraid to be the parent and take the lead and make the decisions for myself and my family? I wasn’t being told by my own intuition that I needed medical attention. I’m not so sure. I do know now fear played a big part of me sitting on this hospital bed.
Fear can come in so many forms. I am not in fear for my future, of being alone or taking care of all the responsibilities left to me to discern. As confident as I am in God’s plans for my life I realize that there are still things I have not surrendered to Him.
If I have anything to fear it will be the hospital bill that’s following this venture. Nope Wonderers, it is already covered. Thank you Jesus!
Thank you for perusing and have a wonderful joyous day.
Let me tell you about the smartest person I know. The earth angel. She is wise beyond her years with the purest of hearts. The day she was born was traumatic. It was predicted that she would not survive. But God had another plan. She was born by emergency cesarean section. Before she left the body she cried. The doctors all proclaimed how smart she was for she did not have to be stimulated to take the first breath. She was fragile but strong. Her head circumference was abnormally small. And God had a plan. Born on April 1st, she fooled them all.
Fast forward 6 years to one of the most exciting days or her life, kindergarten graduation. She is reading above first grade level, writing whole sentences and she did well in math also. She was the only child who didn’t take her diploma for granted. She stopped to make sure it had her name on it before she left the podium. She was proud of herself.
I look back and think about why she is here. She is here to keep us all straight. She has a godly strength and wisdom that she shares generously. She often just comes up to me and hugs me just when the low vibrations appear. Without warning, without prompting, She tells me often that We are fighters not criers. No little one we are not and you are so much more. You are a gift from God and I pray that the world never changes your heart.
I pray you have an angel in your midst Wonderers. Life has so much joy when they are around.
I hope you’ve got your coffee and are ready to hear a little of my madness. It’s been a while so please be patient with me.
This summer being the great mom that I am, I purchased season passes to Carowinds, our local amusement park. Let’s not stop there I also purchased the drink plan and meal plan. Such a good mommy! Like the mom who sprinkles flour on her face when she makes rice crispy treats. 😜 Really though I have loved saying several times a week I might add, “Let’s go the Carowinds for dinner!” Every time-they react like it’s the first time I said it this season. Mental note moms: Children are so easy.
Now let me inform you I am not the amusement park type. I am not really the wanna be outside in the heat type either. My idea of “Ruffin it” is continental breakfast at Holiday Inn Express. 😳 And I don’t do rides. I do eat all the snacks under the rides while I wait although I’m not supposed too. Heck, if the lines are long enough, the world may never know! It will be our secret.
On to why you’re here. I decided there was a ride I wanted to try. It’s a ride that goes to air traffic control height and it looks like a carousel in the sky. My mission for the summer Wonderers! I thought, I’ll have to ease my way into it. J who is 6, wants to ride the swings. She just made the height chart and is super excited. I thought this to be the first step to my victory. She carefully selected her seat and waited for the ride to begin. I just grabbed the first seat I came too. I noticed she kept looking at me and I wondered if she was scared. Maybe I should have sat next to her. At lift off I was feeling a little panicky and when it started to swing I gripped the chains and started mumbling to Jesus. I could hear J laughing. I tried to open my eyes to see if she was laughing at me but the roof of an adjacent building was coming at me so I shut my eyes again. I was whimpering like a baby. I was really feeling anxious so I started praying for the Lord to stop the ride. As the ride started to lower I gave up all claims to ride the big carousel in the sky. My dream had been dashed and to make matters worst when the ride stopped and I opened my eyes my swing ramjacked the swing in front of me. Only mines did that. Everyone else’s stopped on point. Maybe that was the insult of being on the kiddie ride. When it was time to get off J turned to me and said, “that’s why I get on the inside swing! How humiliating! She did see me shivering in the air.
At the next ride I stayed on the ground and got me a funnel cake with powder sugar, vanilla ice cream and strawberries. I deserved it! Just when I sat down to eat it, it started to rain. Okay Derrick, okay God y’all got jokes. I looked inside my healthy backpack and “ Shazam!” Pulled out a ziplock bag!
Girl Scouts prepared me well. If you can’t fly high at least be able to cover ground. Oh! I gonna have to put that on a flag or something.
Have a great Monday Wonderers and thanks for perusing.
What is your super power? If you could pick out your cape what would you choose.
I want my superpower to be joy. I want to fly around the world spreading joy to everyone I meet. ZAP -Touch a heart here. POW -fill a void there. BOOM -always with the power of God’s love.
Wonderers I challenge you to pick out the superpower you would use to serve God by serving humanity. If you have no idea what it would be I leave these words with you to get you started.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Thank you for perusing and I would love to hear about your choice.
Do you ever wonder why things have to be so difficult? What can possibly be hard about purchasing a trash can and then use it correctly? Probably nothing in your household but in mines – madness!
I don’t know why in this day and time you have to touch the top of the trash can. In my day we had to take trash outside and pick up the lid and place it back down, make sure it was on tight before we came in the house. My jokers have it so easy if they could just figure it out, they should never have to touch the lid. I have purchased several brands of trash cans over the years. Ones that flips up. They don’t work because somebody never sees the can is full and leaves it open smelling the house up with garbage. Swings open. No because everyone had to touch the lid leaving some residue that just makes the can look nasty. I had pedestal to open the tops. But someone used their super human strength and breaks off the pedestal and so on and so on and so on, None of these have worked. Thirty three years of searching for the perfect can. I just gave up.
Well I thought I found it. My friend has an automatic trash can. I was at her house having a coffee break when her grandson walked up to the can and wait for it….it opened and he put his thrash in it and then it closed. WOW! He didn’t touch it any where. It just opened as if he mentally suggested – open sesame! For two hours I watch her family navigate around the can tossing, scraping, even spit trash into the can. I was impressed. I had to have that trash can. I was too ashamed to ask her where it came from but I knew Goggle would know. He sent me to Amazon and I purchased a NineStars Electronic Stainless Steele can that came with a bonus can. Two for the price of one. Impressive, I know right! I even additionally purchased the adaptor because I’ve seen this baby in action and I knew it was a keeper. Shouldn’t have to waste batteries on this life changer. I had to wait a couple of days for it but I was so excited i went to the store and purchased a rug to go under it.
When it came I set it up immediately, prancing around the house like it was Christmas. Days went by and my hopes were slowing dashing. Somebody can’t get it to open. They stand in front of it waving their hands over it, gives up and pushes the backup button because they couldn’t wait a second. Everyone can’t change the bag properly. There happens to be a ring inside the can that you wrap the bag around so it doesn’t show on the outside. Someone occasionally opens it with their hands and leaves it open all night. I’ve even witnessed the can opening and close before the person let go of the trash and it hit the lid as if the person was stammering o op open pen ses sa meeee! Damn, what’s a girl to do?
Titus, My only smart guy can open the can with no problems. He stands in front of it, waits, and when it opens gets his paper towels and let’s it close. At night he throws them around and leaves the mess all over the floor.
That’s right Wonderers, only the dog can do it!
The search is back on! I guess my mom was right, the trash can must go outside for sanity to remain inside.
Ever get something that you never knew you wanted or even better ~ needed?
Well here it is! A Flip and Fold.
First, I have to admit I am kinda anal about laundry and it makes getting it done correctly (as in my way of doing it) difficult for everyone else so I do all the laundry for a family of six. But now thanks to the gag gift I received over the Christmas holiday. A laundry miracle has happened to my household. I literally just heard an heavenly, “Ahhhh!”
Who would have knew! Something for me turned out to be a gift for every one of them. Now everybody up in here can fold laundry. And guess what? I already ordered another one. This is something I know they are going to try and break. But I’m in it to win it, but I still won’t let them run the washing machine!
I wonder what else is out there I didn’t know I wanted?