Shortly after my husband passed I read an article where the author suggested grief comes in waves. I don’t remember who wrote it I just remember how I felt at that time and I couldn’t relate to it. Now I see the ocean in front of me and I’m standing on the other side for now.
Sometimes the waves come and slowly entices you to come in. Innocently you play in it letting it surround you while you take a deep breath and let it wash over you. Other times it knocks you down and drags you into the deep murky waters. You can’t catch your breath and you struggle for air while the currents take you deeper into despair leaving you isolated from anything you know good. While you are submerged thoughts of anguish take over you. Fear, anxiety, and depression take a hold of you. The water tells you lies about your life, about your dreams, about the people you love and especially about the person you grieve.
And then there are the times when you are submerged deep enough for thoughts to take you in but not deep enough for terror to take you over. That is mostly the times when other people question your integrity because they see you in the water comfortable in your own skin. What they don’t know is at that time you are in denial of your reality. For me, it’s several different scenarios all leading to the same conclusion. He is not dead. He is off at war fighting for his family and will return soon. He is somewhere undercover so his family will be protected while he fights for his innocent and someday will return. My favorite, he is a MI6 agent and when the plot to destroy the world is done, he will come home. He will come home. He will come home again and your family will be restored. It has all been a bad dream.
The waves keep rolling and rolling but fortunately I have a Savior who keeps pushing me back to shore. He rescues me and gives me breath and brings me back to life. He comforts me like no one else can. He restores me and gives me hope. He lets me know there is no condemnation in choosing life. It is what he expects of me. He expects me to live out the purpose he planned for me. It does not mean that I am not in pain. It means that my Father loves me not to leaving me floating face down in the water. He stands me up on the sands of the shore and walks me through the valley. He removes all the mountains in my way and returns me to the path home to my family. My purpose and his plan.
So when I say I’m standing on the other side of grief for now I say it with confidence because I serve a God that will never leave me nor forsake me. The waves may come but the Spirit is with me and he will not let me drown. Jesus will rescue me and bring me back to the shore. I hope you know it too. We are his children and he loves us more than we can ever know. Whatever your situation he can bring us through the waters and he can move mountains!
Isaiah 43:2 NLT “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”
How awesome is this! I am standing on his promises.
Thank you for perusing and have a good evening.😘