There is a great disparity from the mother I wanted to be and the mother I sometimes was. I thank God that he restored me to the person I thought I was and not having remained the stressed out, overworked and emotionally dysfunctional woman he discarded.
Thank you father for loving me enough to correct me.
Everything about art is exceptional to me and nothing about me is exceptional to art.
This reminds me of my father saying he was a Jack of all trades but a master of none. However in reality everything he did was exceptional. He was a good painter, electrician and contractor and people hired him to do all kinds of projects. It was not his job, it was his passion. He was humble about his abilities and would read up on the skills and just do it. I was in awe of his commitment to his exceptional gift of remodeling people’s homes and lives.
Today my daughter told me with each new medium I learn it only enhances my artistic abilities. She said she can’t wait to see what I come up with next and what I heard in my mind was….I’m a Jack of all trades and a master of none.
I pray I am showing those following me what my Dad gave me. Be humble and be willing to improve yourself and the lives of others through the means of your God given talents.
Yesterday I landed myself into the hospital. Why? What happened you might ask? Fear. The same fear I said I was not feeling!
Well I thought I was not operating in fear. So let’s break it down.
Fear is defined in Dictionary.com as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
For the past few days my oldest daughter had observed that my face was swollen on one side. I saw it but I was not overly concerned about it. Yesterday she asked why was I speaking out of one side of my mouth. Okay! I’m a little concerned now but I move on with my day. “Promise me you’ll call your doctor Mom.” The last words she said to me.
I went on to get some chores completed and true I wasn’t feeling good but nothing really not out of the normal for me except now, I’m feeling impending doom. (Really it could have just been the feeling of impending housework. I like a clean house but I don’t care to do the cleaning). Anyway, the feeling is overwhelming and I start to cry. I pray about it and I then decide to go to urgent care just to get checked out and keep my promise. One ambulance ride and several test later, I get invited to a sleepover at the local hospital.
This morning the mediation is about casting your cares on Jesus. Yesterday I missed the mediation and it was on the topic of fear. This situation comes to mind as being a test. Not that God is testing me but he is convicting me. He did bring it to my attention that regardless of the pending test results he is paying close attention and I have nothing to be afraid of. He is the author of my life and Yesterday I was operating in fear. Fear for my children not for myself. Did I take care of everything. Will they be okay? I even mentioned it in my prayer. I was prepared for his will but what about my children. It was one of them that set this fear in my mind. Maybe the past experience of losing a parent who did not seek medical help influenced her. I had to ask myself am I afraid to be the parent and take the lead and make the decisions for myself and my family? I wasn’t being told by my own intuition that I needed medical attention. I’m not so sure. I do know now fear played a big part of me sitting on this hospital bed.
Fear can come in so many forms. I am not in fear for my future, of being alone or taking care of all the responsibilities left to me to discern. As confident as I am in God’s plans for my life I realize that there are still things I have not surrendered to Him.
If I have anything to fear it will be the hospital bill that’s following this venture. Nope Wonderers, it is already covered. Thank you Jesus!
Thank you for perusing and have a wonderful joyous day.
I’m trying to stay focused on God but something happens to me when I hear a lie. I just go all willy-nilly on a person. From 0 to 100 and back down to 75 is how my husband used to explain it. And it hurts. Not just me but everyone who is in the room, within earshot even. I hear them questioning what or who set me off. I didn’t want to be that person, I don’t even know when she appeared or when I became the one person I swore I would never be. I pray to bind that personality and I feel the difference when I hear the lie. I try to stay centered. Sometime I perfect it with grace. Other times I catch myself in mid hype and slow down the reaction. It’s the journey I’m traveling. The road to the crown is bumpy. It is my destination so I try to rise above it.
We lust for the good life. We chase after success, fame, wealth and love. We’re so hard on the chase we miss the little opportunities that would have made a difference in where we end up,
In the pursuit of wealth we sacrifice our family. We miss reunions, dance recitals and kindergarten graduation because we think that job can not go on without us. Your children’s accomplishments needed that same respect. This was their one time event that went on without you and no matter how many pictures and videos were taken so you could “be there” you will never be apart of it.
In the pursuit of success set a ceiling for yourself and your family so the power does not go to your head. Your job’s congratulations and promotions are not the success your seeking. Your only the hero as long as you are there. Don’t let your job tell your family, “Thank you for sacrificing him.” Be the hero of your children. They know how hard you worked for them but they know so little about you personally because you were not there to tell all your success stories.
In the pursuit of fame you will never achieve it at your job. A job is means to support yourself not to make you famous. No matter how high you climb a fall from grace will make you start over again. Your family will always hold you in high esteem. Even if you falter they will hold you up until the end of time.
In the pursuit of love stay focused on the prize. Don’t get it twisted. As much as you think you love your job, it don’t love you. It will use you until it uses you up. Love is waiting for you to come home. There is dinner ready and the children are waiting to tell you all the exciting things that happened while you were at work.
Think about it. There are only 24 hours in a day. If you work 8-12 hours and get some sleep, how much time is left for your family. Your family is willing to make adjustment to make time for you to be home more. The question is, are you?
Let me tell you about the smartest person I know. The earth angel. She is wise beyond her years with the purest of hearts. The day she was born was traumatic. It was predicted that she would not survive. But God had another plan. She was born by emergency cesarean section. Before she left the body she cried. The doctors all proclaimed how smart she was for she did not have to be stimulated to take the first breath. She was fragile but strong. Her head circumference was abnormally small. And God had a plan. Born on April 1st, she fooled them all.
Fast forward 6 years to one of the most exciting days or her life, kindergarten graduation. She is reading above first grade level, writing whole sentences and she did well in math also. She was the only child who didn’t take her diploma for granted. She stopped to make sure it had her name on it before she left the podium. She was proud of herself.
I look back and think about why she is here. She is here to keep us all straight. She has a godly strength and wisdom that she shares generously. She often just comes up to me and hugs me just when the low vibrations appear. Without warning, without prompting, She tells me often that We are fighters not criers. No little one we are not and you are so much more. You are a gift from God and I pray that the world never changes your heart.
I pray you have an angel in your midst Wonderers. Life has so much joy when they are around.
I’m late for Mundy Madness due to traveling. I am in Philadelphia now and am ready to tell my story if you can forgive me.
The water park is one of my favorite places even when I don’t get in the water which can happen.
My oldest treated us to Six Flags for 4th of July. How exciting for me to watch them have fun and see the fireworks. As soon as we get into the park the oldest decides we must get lockers for our stuff. Wait a minute! All your life I have been guarding everyone’s assets while we were on an adventure but now that you are in charge we need lockers? Smart move! 🤔
While we were at the counter waiting to pay for the locker code (I was free) the oldest says something totally unbelievable. She tells her sister, “Go down to the lazy river and get on it and mom and I will meet you down there.”
Now for those of you who don’t know my baby girl, she has a learning disability. What that means is her thought process is different that anyone else’s normally is. Like how she sees good in everyone even when they mistreated her. A quality I wish I possessed. Everybody is her best friend.
Well the oldest, who has a degree in special education thinks she can communicate better with the youngest. I have to admit she has taught me a thing or two but this time, she made a mistake. My mind told me to call a foul but I didn’t. I pray a prayer of protection over them and let the games begin!
It is about 1:00 p.m. when we get to the lazy river. No youngest or the grand around to see. So we start walking around looking. You know what’s real? You don’t remember what your people look like or what they are wearing when your looking for them. I started remembering some of the safety tips like write your name and phone number on the skin and cover it with liquid bandage. Which of course we didn’t do. Around 3:00 p.m. the oldest is frantic. I suggested we go get something to eat. I was hot and tired. I was almost ready to quit the game. I got a pizza. Hot dog and cotton candy. Oh yeah and a Diet Coke. I love amusement parks where you can magically eat anything you want and not gain a pound because your walking around in the heat. I choose a table right across from where we last seen those two jokers. I figured one of them will think to go back to where we divided. I mean when they got tired or hungry they would think to come back. So we sit and wait and I tell the oldest why she can’t let her sister out of her site. She is no different then her except she didn’t get to experience free will and every chance she gets, she’s going to take it.
An hour later the oldest says, “Your so calm. You have really lightened up.” I tell her my strategy, why we are sitting across from customer service. She gets something to eat and tries to relax. I silently say another prayer. Suddenly the oldest remembers she took the grand baby picture on her phone. She wants to ask security to help find them. When we get to the counter I say, “You know we are going to be here until the park closes.” No sooner than I say it there is an announcement that the park is closing due to a storm warning. And behold, I turn around and there they are. The sky opens up and it pours down rain. Unbelievable right? We walked around the water park for 5 hours and did not get on one ride but we left soaked in knowledge.
There is power in the tongue. There is power in your prayers