I had been following a word prompt lately trying desperately to have something to say. Something that wasn’t truly ridiculous and nothing that was unsympathetic to other’s tragedy that surrounds me. Believe me I am on a cakewalk compared to a lot of people. I am so grateful for my life as torn as it is, I’m not broken, I’ve only been heartbroken and some days lonely. But I read a post of Facebook the other day saying something about, “if you can lift your head off the pillow, you have all you need.” It apparently was something a dying man was saying to his wife about her life after he was gone. I get it. It is so true. I’m here still amongst the living. I have breath, a pulse and a functioning brain. Everything else after that is icing on the cake.
There is so much goodness in my life that it feels strange to display. I am so at peace with everything that at times I feel …..guilty. Society has a way of dictating how we are supposed to feel, how we are supposed to display how we feel. Why am I supposed to feel sad and downtrodden? Who says I’m supposed to wear black. I might as well hide behind a black veil if that is the case. But I won’t and here is why.
I humbly come before you to explain why you see me living, smiling and enjoying my life. PLEASE forgive me if I am repeating myself but I can not pretend anymore.
My husband loved life. He loved me and gave me a good life. He loved the Lord and obeyed him as far as loving me and for those three reasons I am overjoyed.
I miss him so I wear the colors he loved to see me in. He hated that because of my profession I wore a lot of black. When I retired I threw most of it out and started wearing colors again. Color makes me happy and wearing them made him happy. So I honor him with my bright colors. I smile because he lived to make me smile and laugh. That’s all he wanted for me and our children, for us to be happy. He worked to give us security and comfort and we are so fortunate that he took his responsibility to us seriously. He believed in God’s command of what a husband and father’s responsibilities are to his family. He gave us everything he had to give and he is still giving to us more so now than ever before. So please give us a break when you see us having fun and moving on without him. It is just how we choose to pay our respects to the life he gave us. When he looks in on us I want him to see he gave us enough love to last our life time. I want God to see he did his duty.
I did not get to hear last words from his last breath but I did get to have the last words he wrote to me for our vow renewals the previous year. He closed it with, “I give you my hand, my heart and my love from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.” All I can say is I’m still here and I will honor his commitment for as long as I live.
Thank you for perusing and until next time, walk in joy.
We ride the carousel round and round afraid to get off in fear that if we do, we will miss the last turn, so we ride until it stops. Why is that?
You had an opportunity to pick the horse. Maybe you picked the stationary one because you know your limitations. Maybe you picked the one moving up and down because you crave excitement. Just going round and round wasn’t enough. Or worse yet, you settled on the only available horse betting that nothing better would come along or the one you wanted wasn’t worth the work or the wait.
Looking back, were you wrong? Was your horse worth all you sacrificed for? Was your horse worth the ride? Only you know the answer to this question and only you know when it’s time to get off the sadly-go-round.
Is it time for a revision?
Look closely at your life and sort out all that is keeping you circling outside of your destiny. All that you need to succeed is already in you. You just need to be assertive on the merry-go-round. Ride it and build up your courage and strength then get off and live the life that is created just for you. That’s what you need to remember. The choice is still yours. You don’t have to keep riding the dark horse. You don’t have to keep riding in darkness. Let him take the reigns and together ride towards the sun. Your destiny awaits Wonderers.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
Honestly I didn’t want to blog. I feared my usage of the english language was substandard at best. But my daughter thought it would be a good idea for me to journal and started me on my way.
I’ve since learned that like in visual art, your talent is your talent. If it is authentic it will represent you. When I read my posts it reads like the thoughts in my head so it’s acceptable. I no longer worry about past tense or present tense, all the punctuation errors I learned in school and definitely not the grammar. It might be wrong but I only worry about the point of view. It is sincere?Is it humble? Are you hearing what I would have said if I was talking to you directly? Of course I do go back and try to correct my verbiage which might have been pointless because after I post I see yet another mistake I missed.
Like an original painting that is in process that everyone thinks is ugly you finished it for the one person who will see it’s beauty. The person who wants to own it. I have something to say to the universe and only a few will get it and it is okay. Tomorrow is another day I might reach another person.
God just wants us to keep trying and that’s what I’m going to do substandard and all. Besides that, it brings me joy.
Edited in sincerity to the Quest of the Pineapple.
We were starting on another journey you and I. The dynamic duo, we called ourselves. Preparing for another caper. We were magical together. Polar opposites. My strengths were your weaknesses. Your strength were my weaknesses. Together we were one person. No one could touch us. No one could go around us. Impenetrable!
Somewhere we made a wrong turn. A decision we would have to face dire consequences for. Somewhere in our quest for greatness we forgot how we came to be so powerful. We started with just love. Love that kept us talking all night about our dreams and aspirations. Love that made us silly and adventurous. We had found each other. Our soulmate. We thought we did it ourselves and the powers that be excused our innocence. Young love can be foolish.
He put us together against all odds. The things we had in common in the beginning against the things years later we still couldn’t understand how we ended up together. Even with our differences, he put us together for a purpose for the unbelieving spouse will sanctify the other. But somewhere we made a wrong turn and we misjudged the covenant we agreed to when we were united. We were moving in our own power, depleting our resources. All the while the superpowers kept feeding us granting permission for us to keep fighting evil. So stupid we didn’t show enough gratitude, enough love, enough praise that the evil doers came in through the weakest links of our shield. Our faith in God. We didn’t even notice when the smoke bomb was thrown in. We kept touching it not knowing what it was only knowing that we seeing thing different than before. We just kept up the superhero appearance before man. Thinking we were battered but not beaten and we began to believe we did not need all the strength of the superpower. We were doing it, the dynamic duo. We had it all in our own right.
The enemy penetrated our camp spreading their venom all around. We breathed it in and it worked against us. We were battling a different kind of crime. No longer were we fighting the enemy we were fighting against ourselves. We became so weak in the mind, body and spirit we didn’t even think to call to the higher power. We tried to save each other and exhausted what power we had left. Loves make you want to try even when you know you can not win by yourselves. Thankfully the higher powers came to our rescue although they could only save one of us. I’m not sure which one of us was saved. All I know for sure is I was left to warn the heroes that replace us.
Turn back and plan your capers together and use your powers for good. Remember even after the crowd praises your accomplishments, you are not operating as the dynamic duo. You have the God Squad, the Holy Trinity ~ The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost.
My sidekick of 30 years has hung up his cape but I have comfort that I am not alone. I’ve tightened my belt and picked up my shield. Me and The Squad are still on the quest.
Call on Jesus. He will answer. It is not too late to save each other. It is not too late to save yourself.
2 You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by GOD. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That’s right—you don’t go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set. You, GOD, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; Then I’d never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel. I thank you for speaking straight from your heart; I learn the pattern of your righteous ways. I’m going to do what you tell me to do; don’t ever walk off and leave me. (Psalm 119:2 MSG)
What is your super power? If you could pick out your cape what would you choose.
I want my superpower to be joy. I want to fly around the world spreading joy to everyone I meet. ZAP -Touch a heart here. POW -fill a void there. BOOM -always with the power of God’s love.
Wonderers I challenge you to pick out the superpower you would use to serve God by serving humanity. If you have no idea what it would be I leave these words with you to get you started.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Thank you for perusing and I would love to hear about your choice.
Today I feel like a first string draft pick and the first thing I’m going to do is get my mom a house. Except I’m a beginner artist and the first picture I painted to give away belongs to my mommy. This abstract picture is my grandmother’s house. I know my mom misses her especially around the holidays and since we sold grandmom’s house she can no longer visit. I’ll share it with you Wonders, Mom is not a blogger.
Until next time keep wondering and thanks for perusing.
Does it seem to you that Thanksgiving is being bypassed? Darn skippy it is. And I’ll tell you why I’m getting started early this year.
Last year while I was in the house enjoying my family and all theThanksgiving festivities, while my neighborhood was abuzz with Christmas decorating. I know they were in their homes wishing for it to get dark so they could hit the switch and light up the world. Out of no where, suddenly I noticed red lights flashing through the window and thought someone over ate and EMS was called. Or maybe family time got violent and the police was called. Neither was the case. My next door neighbor’s house was aglow with Christmas lights. It looked like the North Pole. Polar bears and all. Across the street looked like a scene from the movie “White Christmas.”. How could I compete with that. They had the corner all scened out. I moved from the boondocks where it was pointless to do a lot of outside decorations because no one besides us saw them. My decoration was modest at best. I’m talking front door action. Now I’m in a community and these people are serious. One street looked like Lowes parking lot with all the big blow up lawn decorations. You didn’t even see the house at night.
Not this year folks, I’m ready. I’m putting up my decorations today!
*Okay, the gauge was set low but I am first. And I didn’t use any tape or nails! *