Good morning wonders.
I dislike the word stepparent. So many people do not understand the meaning of the word. The dictionary defines it as someone that your mother or father marries after the marriage to or relationship with your other parent has ended. Well step parents I’m here to define it a little more for you and as my grandfather would say, “If you throw a stone at a pack of dogs, the one that hollers is the one you hit!”
Disclaimer: I’m speaking to the stepparents whose spouses have visitation rights and don’t use them.
I think the definition of stepparent should include the perspective of a child. That’s the missing element. So from the child’s point of view I’m redefining the definition to include some points of reference from the child.
If you are a stepparent and your spouses children are not allowed over your house, you are not a stepparent.
If you are a stepparent and your spouse is mentally, physically, financially or socially supporting your children but is not supporting their own, you are not a stepparent. As a woman I have never been able to understand this one myself. I don’t know how you would expect a child to understand.
If you are a stepparent and your spouse has had no communication with their child, can you help them? It won’t be easy in all cases but we have FaceTime, Skype, Twitter, Instagram and a host of other ways of communicating that distant should no longer be a deterrent.
Look I know a lot of you have reasons for why your not involved in your children’s lives but if it’s not a court ordered situation to stay away, you may need to look deeper and find a way to make a place into your child’s life. As far as my definition goes:
Stepparent – you stepped into a child’s life because you saw there was a need. But fulfilling that step makes you a parent.
Step parenting is not for the weak hearted. I want to see you be brave.